Warhammer 40,000: Speed Freeks (PS5) Review
Summary: Dumb fun that strikes a great balance between racing and krumping. It just needs a few more humies playing it.
3.5
Waaagh-key races
This review was written by a freeboota who broke into my office and stole my PS5 Pro, which I had just installed Warhammer 40,000: Speed Freeks on.
He then returned several days later and threatened me with his shoota and a rather nasty attack squig until I wrote down ‘iz kritikal apraizal’. So, for the sake of clarity, and because he said he would ‘krump me’ if I didn’t, I present his review, “az Gork intended”, unedited and uncut in his native tongue, here’s…
My revoo of Warhammer 40,0000: Speed Freeks by GhazKhull GameKritik
Speed Freeks brand ov vehicular combat n racin iz da kind of satizfyin dum fun dat wud make Wazdakka Gutsmek proud.
Da setup iz simple: too teams ov boys, armed to da teef, rock up in dere suped-up wartrikes, snazzwagons, ‘n’ defkopters to do battle n take da chequered flag. Doe da racin’ often takes a back seat to givin da ova team a gud krumpin.
Dere r sevral classes ov vehicles tu choose from, each wiv itz own speshall abilities n stats, from slower, hardier rigs like battlewagons n looted Imperial tanks, to literal jet engines on wheels like da Scrapper Jet. Each plays a roll in da teem, more like a shoota, wiv sum leadin da charge while ovas offa healin’, support, or r literally tanks full of grots.
Dere r too match types available: Def Rally, witch tasks players wiv racin threw a series ov checkpoints, wiv bonus points for da teem wot gets dere 1st. Dere iz also xtra points for wreckin’ da ova teem. dis also stops da gitz from gettin too da waypoint furst. Win-win.
Da ova iz Kill Konvoy, which iz basically capchur da flag wiv Stompas. Diz time, to ‘uge ork gargants are racin towards da finizh line, very, very, slowly, n da boyz ave to grab boms n drive ‘em strate into da opposin teem’s mekanical mountain to slow it down. Givin’ your sides stompa a small advantage. Bonus points r also given for blowin’ up da opposin teem n successfully stealin da bomb from dem.
Itz like an explosiv game of tug ov waaaagh ‘n’ dare’s a great sens ov push ‘n’ pull az each team frantically tries to stop da ova from rammin’ da bomb into da feet of da stompas. itz an absolute mess at times, but in da best possible way.
Speed Freeks woz originally goin’ to b a free-to-play game, but itz publisher, Wired Productions, instead opted to make it a paid-for title (albeit a reasonably priced one). Dare r still sum fingerprints of dat left. It still ‘az too battlepassez, a ton of cozmetics, ‘n’ sevral vehicles to unlock. Fankfully, dis iz all dun by playin’ da game, ‘n’ over da cors ov a few ‘ours, u will ‘av unlocked most ov itz vehicle typez ‘n’ a nice stash ov cosmetics too. Doe to get all ov dem takes a lot longa.
Dere iz also da workshop, a fairly robust map creator dat letz u make all kindz of fantastic mapz for kustom matches. Da problum iz dat no one uses dem. Da ‘anful ov matches dat seem to b available at any time all use stock mapz, so aldoe itz a welcome addishun at prezent, it feelz pointless.
Da biggest problum though iz darez not enuff boyz playin’ it. I just ‘ad a quick couple of matches ‘n’ dare were less than an ‘undred gitz in matches, wiv crossplay enabled, globally. Fankfully, (dev) made da clever desishun ov allowin’ bots to fill in da gaps but it makes matches seriously unbalanced wen u end up wiv won teem ov mostly humie players ‘n’ u r stuck wiv bots.
Dat bein’ said, da presentashun also strikes dat fun balance between bright green orks in dere garishly colorful buggies ‘n’ halftraks, ‘n’ da desolate wasteland’ day’re tearin’ across to blow up a ‘uge bright red gargant.
It also prezents da lighter side of 40k in a way I wish more gamez set in da 41st millennium wud. Dare mite only b waaaghh, but it dozn’t mean we can’t ‘av a laff occashunly. Da sooner sumwon makes a Caiphus Cane point ‘n’ click adventure game da better.
It runz really well on da PS5 az well. Stickin’ to a consistent frame rate even wen da actshun gets incredibly kaotic, witch iz often.
Final Forts
Az evri ork nos “red wunz go fasta”, ‘n’ diz iz definitely tru wen playin Speed Freeks, coz almost evri time I woz on da Bloo team we lost to da ruddy red gitz. (Ed note. The opposing team is always red, I think it should be the other way around.)
Itz tons of fun strikin’ a decent balance between racin’ ‘n’ krumpin, wiv a decent sens ov progreshun ‘n’ two great match types. I just wish dare was more ov it. Itz been out for just ova a year on da PC ‘n’ I was ‘opin’ itz arrival on consolez wud also herald moor stuff to do.
Ere’s hopin’ da Orks promoshun tu main baddies in da upcomin’ 11th ed of 40k will get more gitz comin’ for a scrap in Speed Freeks coz rite now dare’s barely a mob of boys gettin’ stuck in surrounded by servitors ‘n’ Necrons makin’ up da numbers. Witch dozn’t bode well for da futur ov da fine sport ov stompa racin’.
Related Posts
Riven (PS5/PSVR2) Review →
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus II (PS5) Review →
Nickelodeon Extreme Tennis: Next! Review (PS5) →
