Published on January 17th, 2022 | by Tim Chuma
Bite Me (2019) Review
Summary: The fact that it took me 2hrs to watch the last 20 minutes tells you all you need to know about this....
When actual vampire Sarah (Naomi McDougall Jones) gets audited due to the IRS not believing her story about her “church. James the auditor (Christian Coulson) agrees to meet up with her outside of work to get some more background on the case and they end up hitting it off. Que awkward comedy and supposedly endearing japes.
Having worked in a government services role quite recently and heard stories about someone trying to hit on one of the clients, this story is 100% a fantasy. Even some of the big plot points, there is an official appeals process and these cases can take months or years to resolve but I agree that would be a boring story. James having to put his phone in a locker at the start of a shift and being told off for not sticking the clean desk policy would not be the thing they are going for I am guessing.
I suppose this is just OK, it just doesn’t make enough of itself or even stand out that much considering what the premise of the entire movie is. Not weird enough, the jokes don’t land and there are a lot of beats that seem to miss. You can pretty much tell how this is going to end from the start.
It at least started out reasonable but it seemed like they didn’t really know how to end it so they put the supposedly big confrontation at the end which doesn’t amount to much just some people yelling. It all feels rather unsatisfying and watching the last 20 minutes of this took me about 2hrs since I kept stopping it to do something else I was bored.
While it does try to do something different with vampires it doesn’t really work out this time and maybe just go watch the movie and series of What We Do in the Shadows again.
Writer/Director: Meredith Edwards
Starring: Naomi McDougall Jones, Christian Coulson, Meredith Edwards, Naomi Grossman, Antino Crowley-Kamenwati, Mahira Kakkar, Aurelio Voltaire, Annie Golden, Harold Surratt, Mia Romero
Length: 1hr 23min