The Expendables Movie Review - www.impulsegamer.com -

The Expendables
Reviewed by Glenn Erskine on August 9, 2010

Roadshow Films  
presents a film directed by Sylvester Stallone
Screenplay by Dave Callaham and Sylvester Stallone from Callahamís story
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Randy Couture, Terry Crews Eric Roberts, Steve Austin, David Zayas, Gisele Itiť, Charisma Carpenter, Gary Daniels, Bruce Willis &  Arnold Schwarzenegger
Running Time: 103 mins
Rating: MA15+
Released: August 12, 2010


4/10

 



In a blaze of sadistic glory, Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) annihilates a wharf full of enemy soldiers while riding shotgun (certainly not in the traditional sense) alongside Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) in an old-school seaplane. As the wharf is blown to smithereens in the background, Barney congratulates Lee for his efforts, to which Lee replies, ďThatís a statement.Ē

Why yes, Mr. Statham, that is a statement. Iím still unsure as to why Stallone and co-writer Dave Callaham felt the need to point that out. Yes, I realise Stallone never intended for his film to be nominated for screenplay or directing Oscars, and Iím not about to rip apart The Expendables for its lack of plot, absence of any character development or its cringe-worthy script. Not much anyway. We all know exactly why this movie was made Ė to bring together a bunch of beefed-up action heroes (read: washed-up) to fight, kill, flex their disturbingly gargantuan muscles and deliver lines that will have you laughing for longer than originally intended. Oh, and to blow stuff up.


The stench of testosterone is overwhelming in Stalloneís The Expendables.

These were my only expectations for this film, but unfortunately it even managed to fall short in the action department. The killing and maiming is too repetitive and thereís an obvious lack of tense action sequences; itís just a bunch of guys shooting at another bunch of guys. But there are some great set pieces, especially when Jet Li and Stallone manage to ward off an army of assassins in a breathtaking chase through the streets, and there are enough epic explosions in the last act to satiate the hunger of any action fan.

As an ensemble, Statham and Mickey Rourke are the only ones who show any hint of charisma. Rourkeís Tool is actually quite likeable and the only emotionally developed character (to the extent he can be with this kind of film). The only description of Stallone I can muster is that a sad and demented clown. Iím not sure if Stallone has had any cosmetic surgery, but if thatís the result he needs to get his money back. Steve Austin was never known for his acting, but he does a hell of a job standing in the shadows and nodding at random intervals when heís not beating women senseless. Jet Li is wasted, simply a target for an archaic and (apparently) humorous racial stereotype. His name is Yin Yang. Enough said. The talented Charisma Carpenter (Buffy, Angel) would have done better in a LíOreal advertisement. Her sub-plot is so sub that it might as well not be there, though it did lead to an amusing sequence in which Stathamís Lee single-handedly takes out a bunch of neighbourhood hoodlums.


Sly Stallone holds on for dear life to his last shred of dignity

Stallone, who also co-wrote and directed, would have had a fun time shooting this film. He was given $80 million to gather a bunch of his friends together to punch the shit out of each other. That is the extent of their roles. Arnold Schwarzeneggerís one-scene cameo is overly self-indulgent while Bruce Willisí Mr. Church (who speaks to Stallone in a church) contributes practically nothing. Willis looks as if heís about to burst into fits of laughter with every line he delivers and I wouldnít blame him.

I left The Expendables having no recollection of the names of any characters and was too busy laughing to remember the reason for all the slaughter. To grant Stallone his due, he certainly knows how to shoot great hand-to-hand combat and though this didnít entertain me the way it should have, itís sure to be an enjoyable experience for many.






 
 



   Games
   PlayStation 4
   XBox One
   PlayStation 3
   XBox 360
   PC
   PS Vita
   Wii U
   Wii
   3DS
   DS
   PSP
   Apple
   Casual
   Android
   Classics

  Movies
   Movies & IMAX
   Blu-ray
   Action
   Anime
   Comedy
   Crime & Thrillers
   Documentaries
   Drama
   Family
   Horror
   Kids
   Lifestyle
   Music
   Romance
   Sci-fi
   Sport

   IT
   PC
   Apple
   Hardware

   Information & Fun
   News
   Interviews
   Articles

   Tara's G-Spot
   Loren's Level
   Comics
   Books
   Mind & Body
   Music
   Competitions
   Community
 








 
 




Impulse Gamer is your source for the
latest Reviews and News on Video Games,
Entertainment, Pop Culture, Hardware &
More!

 


© 2001 - 2014 Impulse Gamer
 

 

About Us | Contact Us