Okay letís have a look at Piranha DD, a wartime costume drama about the
dichotomy of the human conditionÖ But seriously, you wouldnít expect
anything highbrow from a movie called Piranha DD (thatís double-D)
You donít care about the premise, and nor should you. It is what it is
in all B-Grade monster movies: An excuse. In this case, an excuse
for some demonic fish to chomp their way through a bunch of unsuspecting
swimmers. Itís also an excuse for more than a few moments of softcore
porn. The fish themselves actually get in on this as well, by invading
or biting off just about every part of the anatomy that you can think
I mean, B-grade monster movies arenít exactly known for their
intellectual qualities, but this one makes Anaconda look like
Schindlerís List by comparison.
So itís dumb. Itís dumb, itís noisy, itís colourful, and itís gory. On
the plus side, the fish effects look pretty good, and the carnage is
suitably over-the-top, with gouts of blood flying into the air when
someone gets beheaded by an airborne piranha.
The movie is at its most enjoyable towards the end, when it drops all
pretensions of having a plot and turns into a full-on comedy. The
problem is, it tries to be too serious for too much of the running time.
And I donít mean that in the sense that it has a mature message, but
more that it tries to deliver an actual storyÖ thereís some guff about a
corrupt policeman whoís siphoning funds out of the local water park, for
example. How about less of that, and more of the Hoff making a pill out
of himself, and more piranhas exploding out of water filters?
Itís an experience that delivers what it promises: Gore, nudity and
toilet humour. David Hasselhoff cameos as a lifeguard, and Christopher
Lloyd plays a mad scientist. As expected. Some fish eat some people, and
then the music plays. Again, as expected. Who cares if the plot has more
holes than a crumpet, or if everyone in it has the acting range of a
Big Daveís bong
Big Dave and the jet
Big Dave and the pump
These are just as bad they sound. During the credits, there are some
extra scenes and outtakes as well.
Donít read too much into the score above; you might actually enjoy this
movie, if you watch it in the right frame of mind. If you liked the
first Piranha, give this one a go. Just be prepared to sacrifice a few
brain cells in the process.