Jersey Shore Shark Attack
I always enjoy a good B-movie, thereís just something
about a movie thatís intentionally bad that makes it better than others.
Thatís why a little part of me was looking forward to watching John
Shepphird Jersey Shore Shark Attack, a straight to DVD parody of
the god-awful MTV series (which thankfully will be ending in a few
weeks). After viewing this film, I can safely say that this film
succeeds in being intentionally bad, but itís just so bad that it
borders on being unwatchable. This would have to be one of the most
painful viewing experiences of the year.
The town of New Jersey is undergoing some
renovations, with a new tourism attraction being built along the pier.
However, the underground drilling thatís involved has attracted a horde
of killer albino sharks to the town, threatening the lives of those who
dare enter the water, and itís up to the local Guidos and their
washboard abs and gel-stiffened hair to save the day.
If the premise of albino sharks sounds enticing
enough for you to watch, just wait until you see what they look like.
The CG on display is some of the worst Iíve seen in a long time, and the
visuals are just as worse (The sharkís perspective scenes look like
someoneís held a cup of red cordial in front of the camera). The
overall presentation of the film is poor, with an obvious use of cheap
audiovisual equipment at the crewís disposal. I know this film wasnít
released theatrically, but the lack of a big budget is way too
noticeable to be forgiven.
The film fails to successfully parody any aspect of
Jersey Shore, apart from naming two of the characters Nooki and
The Complication (Ďhilariousí plays on Snooki and The Situation).
Instead, the film seems to unintentionally glorify the Guidos of New
Jersey, placing them in the starring roles and saviours of the day, and
making them far more intelligent that is justified. The acting is
extremely poor, with flat dialogue delivered in a way that ensures that
no laughs will be had at all during your viewing.
Thankfully, Jersey Shore Shark Attack only
runs for around an hour and a half, so the pain you will suffer from
watching the entire thing wonít last long (if you manage to get through
it all). Itís a shame, because this film seemed like the perfect outlet
to have a dig at Jersey Shore, a show that many people despise and would
appreciate a quality parody to be made. Unfortunately, this is easily
the worst film Iíve seen all year; donít feel guilty if you miss out on