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Flu Birds
The online reviews for Flu Birds
make for highly entertaining reading. One writer notably described the
film as a ‘pitiful pile of dung,’ whilst another claimed that ‘the
writing and directing had me feeling sorry for the actors’ before
pithily summarising the low-budget feature as ‘nonsensical.’ A third
reviewer simply stated that ‘I feel sorry for anyone who wastes their
time watching this.’
It couldn’t be that bad could it? A
2008 made-for-television film commissioned by the Sci-Fi Channel, Flu
Birds (also known by the alternate title of Flu Bird Horror)
centres around a flock of mutant, predatory birds who delight in picking
off campers and hillbillies in the wilderness. When a group of teens
seek refuge in a rural community the creatures follow, feasting on the
stragglers and spreading their deadly virus to the town’s residents.
It becomes instantly apparent that Flu
Birds is every bit as woeful as advertised. The acting is
astonishingly indifferent, the pacing lethargic, the characters moronic
and the plot, as advertised, does indeed border on nonsensical.
Furthermore the camerawork is irritatingly jumpy, the editing is choppy
and the digital effects look cheap. On top of all that the screenplay
could have been written by a third grader, and the ‘actors’ involved
spout endless ‘Yo, dawg’ urban cliches whilst between them mustering up
about as much collective appeal as a rotting badger carcass.
I really can’t think of anything much to
recommend this. Aside from some pleasant scenery and the odd attractive
pert-breasted teen in suitably cleavage-enhancing ensemble the film has
little to recommend it, and in any case it’s Mother Nature, not director
Leigh Scott, to whom any credit is due on these grounds. The copy I
received was a preview disc devoid of subtitles, let alone bonus
features, so I can’t say whether the actual release will boast any
additional content. But who cares? Flu Birds is a complete
waste of time, devoid of all but the merest shred of schlock value and a
disappointment even to those with a fondness for bad cinema. This isn’t
merely bad, it’s idiotic. Avoid it like a mutant strain of bird flu. |
