Scary Movie 5
Scary Movie series was first offending viewers and raking in cash
way back in the year 2000. Using a mix of no name and b-grade actors,
the original Scary flick poked fun at the plethora of teen
slasher films that made a box office killing during the late nineties.
While the film was not devoid of laughs, it was without doubt a lowbrow,
cheaply made, calculated and uninventive dive for quick cash. All of
this is irrelevant and kind of pointless though right viewers?
walks into Scary Movie 5 expecting a groundbreaking comedic
masterpiece. Nor does anybody expect a profoundly entertaining
laugh-a-minuet cinematic riot. What we all want is a film that pokes fun
at the current happenings in the social conscience, with of course many
a crude and stupid joke thrown in for good measure. What we get is an
incredibly dull and completely unfunny misfire of a film.
Scary Movies had a great female protagonist in the form of Anna
Farris, who has always exceled at vacant delivery and physical comedy.
Her comedic timing and support from other cast members (Chris Elliott
and Natasha Lyonne Scary Movie 2, 2001) helped make the other
films watchable, or some would say, just bearable. With the latest
installment in the franchise, the female lead has been taken over by
none other than High School Musical (2006) alumni, Ashley
Tisdale. Quite simply, Tisdale is a tanned up, low rent, zero talent no
one that shall very soon be a has-been.
nothing new or magnetic to offer and blends into the furniture better
than she does to her role. So what are the other characters like? What
are the jokes like? From the opening sequence this film is almost
completely devoid of any kind of comedy. Being it low-level slapstick,
gross out gags or good old fashion cutting edge wit, this film has none.
The opening scene with Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan makes their drug
and alcohol embarrassments look like childís play. It is mind numbing
and painfully unfunny scene.
Paranormal Activity has Sheen, ever the Hollywood gentleman,
trying to make a sex tape with Lohan. Hilarious right? Lohan herself
looks like someone has poured hot wax over her skin and let a toddler
sculpt out her facial features. Even if she were to have another attempt
at actual acting, sincere emotion couldnít even register through all the
plastic surgery she has had. There are a few cameos added to spice up
this bland dish, but they arenít enough to keep you interested or even
fester a laugh long enough that it would probably be mistaken as a
hiccup. Snoop Dogg and Kat Williams donít seem concentrated on comedic
timing, but more like they are thinking about what swimming pool theyíre
going to buy with the extra cash instead.
Movie 5 mostly pokes fun at the whole Paranormal Activity
series and the newer horror film Mama (2013). Many people have
seen the Paranormal series, which is now up to a laughable fourth
installment. The horror franchise has had their day and poking fun at
them simply doesnít work. Itís over already. The fact they are still
being made is a joke within itself. The movie Mama (reviewed in
impulse gamer 7/10) was a moderate hit in America, very moderate.
Elsewhere, it has barely made a blimp on the radar. Choosing this film
as a main plotline was a big mistake and it keeps a thin veil over what
was an ugly idea in the first place.
is a terrible movie. It is a complete waste of time and money. The
concerning fact is, this trash will indeed make its money back and then
some. Even more concerning is the idea that some viewers will find it
funny and perhaps even laugh audibly. By audiences avoiding movies like
this and expecting more entertainment and class in our cinema, we will
comes in trends. If stupid cinema doesnít work, if audiences boycott
films like this, the film studios will try something else - something
smarter. Re-watch Scary Movie if you must kill a few brain cells.
Otherwise, avoid it... unless you thought Movie 43 was comedic