on the 1978 movie of the same name, director Alexandre Aja attempts to
leave his mark on the exploitative teen horror genre. Does he succeed?
Yes! Is the movie as bad as people say it is? Yes and no. Even though
it's really a bad movie, I actually enjoyed myself. As to the film, Piranha 3-D
doesn't take itself very seriously at all and many of the horror scenes
are quite laughable. Then you have the relatively bad CGI effects which
have obviously been thrown onto the 3D bandwagon.
Elizabeth Shue and Adam Scott show their
concern at the Piranha invasion
what about the story? It's clichéd, the dialogue is bad but there are a
few gems in this movie. One of these gems is Jerry O'Donnell as Derrick
Jones, a pornographer who is attempting to make his own "Girls Gone
Wild" film on the waters of the peaceful Lake Victoria. O'Donnell throws all
seriousness out the window as he plays a comedic and over the top man
hell bent on capturing naked breasts. As an example and I will spoil
part of the movie, even when half of his body is consumed by deadly
piranha's, he still has audacity to tell the audience that they took his
penis. It's a classic movie moment!
Jerry O'Connell as the happy pornographer
with adult film star Riley Steele and English actress Kelly Brook
we've established that this movie is more black horror but in terms of
the story, Piranha 3-D begins with Matt Boyd (Richard Dreyfuss... ahh
touché) fishing on Lake Victoria. Unfortunately for Mr. Dreyfuss'
character, an underground subterranean lake finally becomes connected to
the "real world" after millions of years of separation. This is where
ancient piranhas have lived and needless to say, they are very
Derrick Jones (Jerry O'Connell) gets more
than he bargained for me when it comes to female nudity
make matters worse, Lake Victoria is holding their annual Spring Break
festivities that include lots of naked women, drunken men and Derrick
Jones. As the story takes a back seat, I'll sum it up very fast. Sheriff
Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) discovers the mutilated body of Matt
Bowd and she calls in the "experts" lead by Novak (Adam Scott). Her
son, Jake Forester (Steven R. McQueen) is lusting after Kelly (Jessica Szohr) but is too scared to ask her out but
somehow manages to live the ultimate fantasy
by being invited by Derrick Jones to help him film porn with the
extremely gorgeous Danni (Kelly Brook) and actual pornstar Crystal
Steve R. McQueen as Jake Forester... the
hero of the movie.
But of course, Jake was meant to be looking after his
brother and sister who get themselves into hot water which leads to
hundreds of people being savagely eaten by prehistoric piranhas. Most die but a
handful of main characters survive only to discover that at the end of the
movie things are going to get a hell of a lot worse.
Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr
there you have it... Piranha 3-D! If you are scared by movie land
horror, than I suggest you get your scares elsewhere and if you are
offended by wanton nudity, than you better look elsewhere too. Because
this movie has both, especially a certain underwater scene that
showcases the amazing naked bodies of English actress Kelly Brook and
pornstar Riley Steele, it disturbing highlights the 3D technology in the
comforts of your own home. It's also quite amusing to hear The Flower
Duet" from Léo Delibes'
opera Lakmé during this scene which I guess counts as the token obligatory
underwater sex scene before the pair is ravenously eaten by the
villainous piranhas. This is the second 3D movie I've watched at home
and unfortunately there isn't that many available but Piranha 3-D does make some good use
of this technology, apart from highlighting and female nudity.
The 3D scene in question, Kelly Brook and
Riley Steele heat it up underwater...
before the gruesomeness begins
Video, Audio & Special Features
video quality for 3D movies is not as clear as standard Blu-ray discs
due to the contrast needed for 3D to successfully work. It's acceptable but here's hoping that we will soon have 3D TV's
without glasses. The 2.40:1 letterbox presentation of the feature film
is also a little small, even on my Samsung 50". The non 3D film
does look clearer though and what we have come to expect from Blu-ray. The DTS HD 5.1
sound rather decent and if you want to watch the movie again... the 2D
version of the film is available. The special features include The
Making of Piranha, Deleted Scenes, Theatrical 3D Trailer and the
Director's Commentary. They are nothing great but it is amusing to watch
the director justify the need for nudity and violence in this 21st
want to give your brand new 3D TV a workout, than definitely check this
movie out but in terms of ever lasting longevity, this movie won't have
that effect on you, unless you're a male under 20. With some of the actors
having a ball making this movie (Jerry O'Connell, Christopher Lloyd and
Kelly Brook), the more serious actors (Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames,
Steven R. McQueen and Jessica Szohr) seem to be lost in all the
outrageousness of the film. Entertaining but mostly forgettable.
Kelly Brook (Danni) and Riley Steel
(Crystal) showing their assets to the male audience