Piranha 3-D Blu-ray Review - www.impulsegamer.com -

Feature 7.0
Video 8.0
Audio 8.5
Special Features 6.0
Total 7.0

Distributor: Roadshow
Running Time: 88 Minutes
Reviewer: James Wright
: MA15+


Piranha 3-D

Based on the 1978 movie of the same name, director Alexandre Aja attempts to leave his mark on the exploitative teen horror genre. Does he succeed? Yes! Is the movie as bad as people say it is? Yes and no. Even though it's really a bad movie, I actually enjoyed myself. As to the film, Piranha 3-D doesn't take itself very seriously at all and many of the horror scenes are quite laughable. Then you have the relatively bad CGI effects which have obviously been thrown onto the 3D bandwagon.

Elizabeth Shue and Adam Scott show their concern at the Piranha invasion

But what about the story? It's clichéd, the dialogue is bad but there are a few gems in this movie. One of these gems is Jerry O'Donnell as Derrick Jones, a pornographer who is attempting to make his own "Girls Gone Wild" film on the waters of the peaceful Lake Victoria. O'Donnell throws all seriousness out the window as he plays a comedic and over the top man hell bent on capturing naked breasts. As an example and I will spoil part of the movie, even when half of his body is consumed by deadly piranha's, he still has audacity to tell the audience that they took his penis. It's a classic movie moment!

Jerry O'Connell as the happy pornographer with adult film star Riley Steele and English actress Kelly Brook

So we've established that this movie is more black horror but in terms of the story, Piranha 3-D begins with Matt Boyd (Richard Dreyfuss... ahh touché)  fishing on Lake Victoria. Unfortunately for Mr. Dreyfuss' character, an underground subterranean lake finally becomes connected to the "real world" after millions of years of separation. This is where ancient piranhas have lived and needless to say, they are very "very" hungry.

Derrick Jones (Jerry O'Connell) gets more than he bargained for me when it comes to female nudity

To make matters worse, Lake Victoria is holding their annual Spring Break festivities that include lots of naked women, drunken men and Derrick Jones. As the story takes a back seat, I'll sum it up very fast. Sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) discovers the mutilated body of Matt Bowd and she calls in the "experts" lead by Novak (Adam Scott). Her son, Jake Forester (Steven R. McQueen) is lusting after Kelly (Jessica Szohr) but is too scared to ask her out but somehow manages to live the ultimate fantasy by being invited by Derrick Jones to help him film porn with the extremely gorgeous Danni (Kelly Brook) and actual pornstar Crystal (Riley Steele).

Steve R. McQueen as Jake Forester... the hero of the movie.

But of course, Jake was meant to be looking after his brother and sister who get themselves into hot water which leads to hundreds of people being savagely eaten by prehistoric piranhas. Most die but a handful of main characters survive only to discover that at the end of the movie things are going to get a hell of a lot worse.

Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr

So there you have it... Piranha 3-D! If you are scared by movie land horror, than I suggest you get your scares elsewhere and if you are offended by wanton nudity, than you better look elsewhere too. Because this movie has both, especially a certain underwater scene that showcases the amazing naked bodies of English actress Kelly Brook and pornstar Riley Steele, it disturbing highlights the 3D technology in the comforts of your own home. It's also quite amusing to hear The Flower Duet" from Léo Delibes' opera Lakmé during this scene which I guess counts as the token obligatory underwater sex scene before the pair is ravenously eaten by the villainous piranhas. This is the second 3D movie I've watched at home and unfortunately there isn't that many available but Piranha 3-D does make some good use of this technology, apart from highlighting and female nudity.

The 3D scene in question, Kelly Brook and Riley Steele heat it up underwater...
before the gruesomeness begins

Video, Audio & Special Features

The video quality for 3D movies is not as clear as standard Blu-ray discs due to the contrast needed for 3D to successfully work. It's acceptable but here's hoping that we will soon have 3D TV's without glasses. The 2.40:1 letterbox presentation of the feature film is also a little small, even on my Samsung 50". The non 3D film does look clearer though and what we have come to expect from Blu-ray. The DTS HD 5.1 soundtrack does sound rather decent and if you want to watch the movie again... the 2D version of the film is available. The special features include The Making of Piranha, Deleted Scenes, Theatrical 3D Trailer and the Director's Commentary. They are nothing great but it is amusing to watch the director justify the need for nudity and violence in this 21st century remake.


If you want to give your brand new 3D TV a workout, than definitely check this movie out but in terms of ever lasting longevity, this movie won't have that effect on you, unless you're a male under 20. With some of the actors having a ball making this movie (Jerry O'Connell, Christopher Lloyd and Kelly Brook), the more serious actors (Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Steven R. McQueen and Jessica Szohr) seem to be lost in all the outrageousness of the film. Entertaining but mostly forgettable.

Kelly Brook (Danni) and Riley Steel (Crystal) showing their assets to the male audience


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